Living in a Disabled World

Front Garden

2 Years this Sunday from when we lost Fin. Since we lost our last baby last May I haven’t felt much like blogging other than to post a few random songs that meant something on the days that I posted them or amused me for some reason or another.

So where am I now. Well we have moved on quite literaly. We moved house on the 15th May 2009 and life moved with it. We had decided after I nearly died miscarrying in May 2009 we had done all we could to have another baby and I also turned 40 which I always said was the cut off date. Does that mean I don’t think sometimes about having another baby? Of course it doesn’t if a miracle happened tomorrow I would be overjoyed but I know in reality miracles don’t happen and I am content with where I am now. I have turned my attention to the children I do have.

Bean grows every day he is so funny now at 5 years old. Since starting school last year we have seen him grow in confidence and knowledge it is amasing to watch him and I am awed every day by who he is and what he can do. Snail has moved closer to us and we get to see her regularly. I love her totally and unconditionally. Pants has just taken her AS levels and is waiting for results next Thursday, have everything crossed for her but I know she is so clever she will have done well.

K and I got married this year. A very quiet wedding just us and no pomp and ceremony, very personal which is what we wanted.

So what do I fill my life with? I do a lot of gardening our new house has a massive garden and I am attempting to grow our own fruit and veg. I learnt a lot last year and have learnt even more this year. It isn’t as easy as it looks. Sure planting stuff in the ground isn’t difficult but controlling the weeds and when to plant and pick stuff is certainly an art. It can be hard work too with working full time.

Work is going well but I certainly do more hours now than ever before working most days from 0800 until 1830 doesn’t leave me a lot of time in the evening for very much. I get home, spend an hour with Bean, eat dinner, put Bean to bed. Water the garden, watch Corrie and go to sleep to start over again the next day.

So that is a brief where I am now. Life is good on the whole. I am settled. I am happy. I am alive.